⭐ 5 Rock Solid Ways to Build Trust with a New Team
You know what the #1 secret to high-performing teams is?
Trust.
Whichever way you look at it and however you want your team to perform, if you don’t have a strong basis of trust, you’re not going to go very far together. Whenever I’ve built teams around me or joined established teams, building trust has been the first thing on the top of my to-do list.
Spoiler alert; I can give you my tips but it’s not an overnight job. I think the person who sums it up best is (no surprises) Brené Brown (podcast on the anatomy of trust). The way she frames trust as a “marble jar” which you can either fill or take from with every action really got me reflecting on how we build trust in the workplace, and how I’ve been doing it all these years.
Really, you only get what you give, so I think the actual most important way to build trust with a team is to start by trusting them from the get-go. It’s not quite as easy as that for an incoming line manager, so here are five things I’ve deployed a few times to get off on the right foot.
So here we go;
1. Listen.
The very worst thing, in my opinion, that you can do when you join a new team is come at it from a place of ego. You’ve worked with one, I’ve worked with many, “the showoff”. They waltz in with all their ego and bravado and start slamming their experience around the office (or Zoom). Every conversation starts with a list of their previous achievements and successes and they want you to know just how good they are.
That’s fine, but it’s not the first impression I ever choose.
One of the key elements of trust is boundaries. Walking into a new company and new team is to walk into a situation where no boundaries have yet been established, so tread carefully. You have to assume that you have at least rudimentarily been screened for “culture fit”, but interviews are a whole different proposition than actually joining a team.
Join a new team with curiosity, ask questions. Not just about work, find out about kids, dogs and hobbies. The company you’re joining has come this far without all of your amazing gifts, ask what they’re doing now and how they’ve been working recently. You’re probably not planning on changing everything overnight (If you are, I wouldn’t. As a seasoned change manager this is a recipe for disaster), so ask them what they like and don’t like about how things are at the moment. Where’s the value, what works? What would they change if they could?
I am an over-opinionated arse. When I join new teams I listen and ask, I try my hardest not to give any opinions for at least a week. Not to mention, the only people whom you should be giving your blunt opinions to are your bosses. They want to know what you think, what you can improve and by when. Trust me, coming in a sh!tting all over the way your team has been doing stuff to their faces is not going to win them over.
2. Be whomever you authentically are
This one might be controversial, but just be yourself.
I have tried many times to be “professional”. In this context, “Professional” tends to mean whatever the powers that be have decided is an acceptable way for people to behave in the workplace. Because I am a woman, there is an extra level of absolute nonsense about how to behave to fit in that is applied to me. I realised a long time ago that I could be a professional, without having to play to the tropes of the patriarchy.
If you want to start a new role on a good foot, just be yourself. Naturally, there will be some bending and shaping to fit a new team structure and dynamic, but this shouldn’t contradict anything about who you are as a person.
Inauthenticity, not living up to your core values and not being who you are is an express road to burnout. Not to mention, when we’re spending all our energy trying to be someone we’re not, we’re not focussing on the job at hand. Equally, your team (especially those with high EQ) are going to be able to spot it from a mile away. They won’t let their guard down around you, because they don’t know who you are, and the trust will not form naturally.
3. Demonstrate integrity early
This one is easy. If you say you’re going to do something, do it. My mumma always told me to judge people on what they do and how they make you feel, rather than the things they say. This rule is the antithesis of walking in slinging your ego around; come through the door and be humble enough to listen, then principled enough to do what you said you would.
I’ve been in a situation a few times where I’ve said what I want to do and for whatever reason, I couldn’t do it. This is a key opportunity for trust building because you can admit that you were wrong, or that you’re blocked. The trick I’ve found here is not to blame someone else, or some business process that’s standing in the way, but reflect on what you did and could have done better.
In any situation, if you need to or you feel you should, apologise. But don’t make a meal of it. A meaningful apology is heartfelt, genuine and really displays integrity. It also includes what you will or won’t do next time, so think about this when you’re phrasing it.
4. The little marbles are the most important, add them as soon as you can
For the managers in the room, people come to work to get paid. The little marbles; holidays, expenses, travel, these are the things that really matter to people.
Got a pay dispute? Prioritise it, nothing else you do is as important as this. Team submitting expenses? Approve them quickly. Holiday requests? Same.
You’d be surprised how much people value having an efficient manager. It doesn’t matter what you’re leading or how important you are, you are still the practical boss of the people who work for you, so make sure you’re sorting their sh!t quickly if you want them to trust you.
5. “What would you normally do?”
Whether you like it or not, to be hired into a position of Leadership is to be given a badge of power and you have to choose how you wield it.
In almost all of my jobs, I’ve had direct responsibility for people, those people have always come to ask me for advice. This has either been a sincere request, they’ve needed help and guidance, or they’ve been trying to sound me out to see what sort of person I am.
My response is always “What would you normally do?”
Simple question, but it provides a series of outcomes;
It fulfils the brief of point number 1 above, listen. Listen to what they would do. Even when you’re not new to a team, even if you’re established, even if you’ve just brought someone new in, they have experience and you’d be wise to listen and learn. They’ll feel better for it, they’ll feel like you give a sh!t.
It provides you with a useful benchmark about what is “normal” for this person. This is a useful data point to assess skills and ability
Covers you for the likely event you haven’t got a bloody clue what to do
Most importantly, it opens the door for collaboration early on. In my experience, you don’t want to rush into advice and direction, it often leaves people feeling trodden on. Just because something isn’t what your first instinct would be, doesn’t mean it’s not worth doing. Remember, there’s no point in having experienced professionals on the team if you’re not going to listen to them.
Disclaimer, asking people what they would do will only work if you want to actually discuss and agree on a way forward. Asking people what they would do, then doing whatever you want regardless, or just dismissing their opinions out of hand will destroy any trust you have managed to build.
Trust takes time to build, it’s not an overnight thing, but it is the most important part of leadership. You can’t walk into a room, get everyone to introduce themselves to you and then tell them that you’re good for your word. You have to jump in with them and get your feet wet.
"Trust is a currency of leadership. Without it, you can't buy much." - Stephen M.R. Covey
To think more about how you can build trust in your relationships, check out the Braving Framework by Brene Brown, on the core components of trust
